Since, perhaps, the dawn of cricket, one question has stumped the game’s finest and greatest analysts. You can even feel them shaking their fists in frustration as, one by one, each hypothesis is thrown out of the window. That question? What exactly are Pakistan?

I present to you Pakistan’s match against South Africa on Wednesday in Edgbaston. No, not even the full match, just the first 50 overs of it. Eighth-ranked Pakistan against No 1 South Africa. Three days after coming off an embarrassing 124-run thrashing against arch-rivals India. The defeat was so bad that their own cricket board allegedly said they would form a committee to probe the loss (They later denied it). Such was the backdrop…and this is how it unfolded.

The comedy…

0.1: Pakistan come out to field. They have lost the toss. Their captain Sarfraz Ahmed says they would have preferred to bat. Unfortunately, they won’t be. Mohammed Amir, their best bowler against India, delivers the first ball…a wide down the leg side. As far as portents go, it’s not a good one.

2.5: Like they did in the match against India, Amir and Junaid Khan, thankfully in for an injured Wahab Riaz, are building up pressure. Now comes an opportunity to make it count. Quinton de Kock plays it to mid-on and sets off. It’s not a run. Shoaib Malik, Pakistan’s best fielder (a title he will lose to Hasan Ali by the end of the innings) has the ball. Kock is miles out. Malik misses. Same old Pakistan, same old.

11.6: Pakistan have got Hashim Amla, just when South Africa started to accelerate. The spinners are turning it on. Mohammad Hafeez lays out a straight one. It strikes Quinton de Kock plumb in front. It looks very plumb. He’s given not out. Bowler and wicketkeeper-captain Sarfraz Ahmed have a conversation. They don’t review. Hawk-Eye shows three reds. It was out.

The magic…

13.6: Exactly 12 balls later, Hafeez slips in another straight ball. This time, Kock sweeps and again he’s caught plumb in front. Plumber, probably. This time, the umpire, perhaps taking pity on Pakistan’s reviewing skills, gives it out.

14.4: No 1 batsman in the world. Mr 360. AB de Villiers. What have you got? Pakistan and Imad Wasim have got a stock, flat delivery first up. It doesn’t turn, it doesn’t bounce, and it’s wide. Except….De Villiers tries to slam it away and hits it straight to Hafeez at point. My word. Is this magic?

28.5: “Ek wicket ki baat hai [It’s a question of one wicket],” encourages Sarfraz Ahmed from behind the stumps. Hafeez doesn’t listen to him the previous over. Hasan Ali has a bit of a Mohammad Sami about him. The same skiddy action, the steaming run-up. He’s the slow burning type. He gets JP Duminy driving. And he gets him edging. Babar Azam even manages to pouch a sharp catch at slip. Yes, it really is magic.

28.6: Do you remember Waqar Younis? Do you remember Wasim Akram? Ali makes you remember them. It’s angled in, pitching on middle and leg-stump. It’s going towards leg. And it stops…and straightens. It goes past Wayne Parnell’s outside edge. It clatters into the off stump and takes it out for a ride. Just like the Sultans of Swing used to. Just like the good ol’ times.

39.6: Wasim-Waqar remembrance 2.0. This time from Amir. Remember those yorkers? Zooming in like a missile, at the batsman’s toes with vengeance? Amir unleashes one right on David Miller’s toes and has him jumping like a cat on a hot tin roof. The umpire even gives it out but Miller reviews successfully. No matter. Just to see one more like that…

The tragedy…

40.2: For any other team, you’d fume. For Pakistan, it’s par for the course. Junaid Khan beats Chris Morris’s ugly, lazy flick with pace. It thunders into the stumps. Typically Pakistani. So is the result. He looks behind…umpire S Ravi has his right arm outstretched. No-ball. And free hit.

42.6: Remember that bit about Pakistan’s reviewing abilities? It was the yorker, on target, pushed out by Kagiso Rabada. Expect, somewhat inexplicably, Junaid Khan thought it was pad first. You could lip-read him, “Out hai, pakka”. Fine, said a reluctant Sarfraz Ahmed and went up. Horror of horrors. “I am convinced there is no pad,” said the third umpire, twice almost as if to rub salt into Khan’s embarrassment.

There was more. The beauty of Fakhar Zaman, a debutant arriving at a Champions Trophy match and fearlessly taking on Kagiso Rabada on an overcast English evening. The comedy of watching Hafeez and Babar Azam play out 20 dots, cowed down by Morne Morkel’s venom. And finally, the magic of watching Pakistan walk off in the rain, 19 runs ahead of the par score. Two hours later, the match would be called off and Pakistan, the lowest ranked team in the tournament, would have just completed a stirring victory over the No 1 ranked team.

Perhaps that is the secret of Pakistan cricket. Impossible to analyse. Mostly painful to watch. But magical with its beauty on that rare occasion.